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I Lived and Never Surrendered at the Ft. Clinch 100, March 28 - 29, 2015

4/4/2015

The Fort Clinch 100 Pier aka "Fear the Pier"

I love Fort Clinch. There is a strange attraction to that course that will keep me coming back. I ran my first 50 miler on this course last year and for several reasons I couldn't wait to return to it for my first 100 miler. The race director is top notch, knows how to put on a race, takes care of all runners, and all the volunteers are over the top! It is an absolutely gorgeous course and has everything a course can offer, "it is a mix between continually undulating (virtually no flat), mostly shaded, oak hammock single track trail, paved road, board walk and a concrete fishing pier" [[FEAR the PIER]]. It was also this 50 mile race last year that led me to go back to my doctor which led to further tests and my Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma diagnosis. I felt I had something to prove to this course and so my journey to my first 100 began.

I was hesitant to let people know that I was going to even attempt a 100 miler, I mean come on, 100 miles is freaking far and only crazy people do that! A few close to me knew and of course, those who were crewing and pacing me knew, but I kept it pretty low key. My husband and daughter have always been supportive and I actually asked them to not go to FC. They are attached so strongly to my heart and soul that if I saw any concern in their eyes, or they voiced any concern, I would have thought about stopping so they wouldn't have to worry. Instead, they received continual text messages from my awesome pacer/crew so they knew that all was good.

Speaking of crew and pacers, I am convinced 100% that a runner is only as successful as their team. Yes, team. I quickly learned, even before the race, that my 100 would be their 100 and my race is their race and my success or failure is their success or failure. I had the best team in the entire world. I had my friends Nancy, Justin and Larry to crew and/or pace me for this race. The planning started in 2014 when Nancy stated she wanted to crew me and it really picked up in January when Justin wanted to crew....eeks, I was getting a little scared and had other races to run as prep for this, it was getting real. I started writing down my needs on a yellow legal pad and then entered them into Excel.

My husband and I created a few pace charts (see below) for me so I could gauge how much time I need per lap (10 mile loops). I also had an alternative plan to run 50 miles from sun up to sun down, 30 miles from sun down to sun up and then 20 miles to finish (50/30/20). My goal was only to finish and finish standing. We met with Justin at the Skydive Ultra and the planning started. He asked me questions that I hadn't thought of yet and and gave me advice that was so very much appreciated. I knew after the Skydive Ultra that I was going to have the best team. A bit short sighted of me, but I just didn't realize at the time how important my team was. It was going to be my first 100. I learned so much! A few days prior to the race, I group messaged my team and told them my song mantra was "I Lived" by One Republic.

More running, planning, food purchasing, list preparing and messaging ensues over the next few months. Weeks before the race the skepticism crept in, did I put in enough miles? do I really know what I'm getting myself into? could I really complete a 100 mile run? Will my NHL get worse? My oncologist knew from day one that I was planning to run 100 miles, he had absolutely no hesitation and tells me to just keep going. So, I go back to that conversation and know that I am doing the right thing. In January a friend of mine passed away from NHL, he was a runner, an athlete and provided me with both his wisdom and much inspiration when I was first diagnosed and didn't know much. It made this run that much more meaningful and in the dark hours of the night, he provided me with much inspiration [thank you Jim, forever grateful].

The ultra running community is a family made of like-minded individuals, those who love trails, exude positive energy, and want to give back in their own way. I am always honored to have the ability to watch my friends attempt their goals and eventually succeed at them. I met my friend Patrick at the Skydive Ultra. Patrick was running the 50 miler and Nancy and I met him around mile 30. It was during this little meet up that we realized we both were running the FC 100. We vowed to speak again and see one another at the race. I met Patrick at the starting line of the 100 and we ran every single mile together. Patrick and I shared every joy, every pain, every failure, every success of the 100 miles. He was there to pick me up when I fell and I was their to pick him up when he questioned why he was doing this. I still can't explain it, but the bond we formed over the 28 hours is one that will never be broken. We laughed, we cried, we talked, we shared, we succeeded. He inspires me. It was beautiful, it was magical. It cannot be explained. I was also fortunate enough to run several of the first few laps with Justin and Andy. Talk about enjoying our run, we laughed and joked and laughed some more. What a spectacular group of people to surround yourself with. The ultra running family has so much respect for the run, for the trails, for life, for the laughter and pure joy.

Back to running....

We were so fortunate to have the best running weather, it dropped into the 40's at night and the high 60's during the day. It was cool, dry and beautiful. It was absolutely beautiful. We could not have asked for a more perfect day. Even though we were running the same 10 miles loop 10 times, each loop appeared a bit different. The sun and moon cast different shadows, so there was much splendor and beauty to see every time we passed the same tree, ran up and down the same hill, etc. So much beauty. At night, running on the beach, without a headlamp was pretty spectacular. The moonlight reflecting off the ocean and the sand is a memory that I will never forget. Watching the sun rise over the Fort was just another memory burned into my brain.

Patrick and I hit 50 miles in 12 hours and 47 minutes, a 16 minute 50 mile PR for me. It was about to get dark so we were able to have pacers from now until the finish. Nancy saddled up and Patrick had his pacer, but we vowed to continue to run together. We started this together and we were going to finish together. The volunteers at the aid stations were so very attentive to each and every runner, all the time. I am a true believer that an AS volunteer is a true gift and one that every runner should treasure.

From mile 50 - 70 my knee was not cooperating. If I slowed or stopped at an aid station, to start again was extremely painful, so I didn't stop. I told my pacer what I wanted and kept moving. She, the angel she is, would get what I needed and run it up to me. Patrick of course, was a wonderful help as well. There was nothing that was going to stop me from finishing this race. I was in a lot of pain, as a matter of fact, it was excruciating at times (sorry to my fellow runners who heard me yelp in pain), but over time, I had the ability to "file it away" and mentally shut it down so it wouldn't bother me any longer. After that, I started getting blisters on the soles of my feet, I could feel them as I ran and they were getting worse. I was changing my socks every 20 miles and in some instances every 10, rubbing ointment on my toes, feet, etc., but to no avail. So much to learn...

Justin, bless his heart, deserves a medal for helping me change my socks and put stuff on my feet, several times. I have to say, he was the calm in the chaos and I am forever grateful. At one point in the night, he led me to a chair in front of the fire to change my socks and lube my feet. That few minutes in front of the fire, was such a boost and off we went. The blisters got worse as time progressed, by mile 90 I questioned if I could make it 10 more miles. It was a pain, unlike the knee pain, that I could only file away for a bit, but it came back in a rage. I continued to fight and found that if I just kept "running" and moving quicker than a walk, it was something I could tolerate. Walking made the blisters worse, running or the Yeti Shuffle was tolerable.

Nancy is a true angel. She paced me and was so attentive, we have run hundreds of miles together so she knew when to make me laugh, when to let me stay in my zone and when to offer me Swedish Fish :). I am so blessed to not only have her pace me for my first 100, but to also have her as a friend. I can't wait to pay it forward to her.

Patrick and I changed lead multiple times. We would often fist bump or high five, or look at one another without saying a word, we didn't have to. We knew we were going to finish, we knew it, we felt it, and we just kept moving forward. There was a lot of time during our 28 hours adventure where we didn't have to say anything, just knowing we were both there and would both finish was comforting. Typical conversation during the late miles, "You Good?", "Yep, You?", "Yep". "Patrick, we're going to finish", "smile".

Patrick changed his pacers throughout the last 50 miles In hindsight, I should have demanded (yes, because that is what it would have taken) that Nancy pace every other loop, instead of what she did. Nancy wanted to pace that far, I just should have asked her to rest in between. I feel terrible about it but will know better for next time. Patrick's wonderful wife Tiffany ran the last loop with him. It was then that I felt a little tug at my heart and regretted not having my family with me, but so very thankful that I had Nancy, Justin, Larry, team Schmidt and all the other wonderful members of the running family out there. It was the last loop that I knew I would accomplish something for Jim and others I've come to know, running for those who cannot.

Prior to running the Pier for one last time, at mile 99, my crew was there waiting so we could all run the Pier together, one last time. Justin KNEW, and I didn't even have to tell him, that I wanted to change into my Livestrong shirt for the last mile. He also put on his Livestrong shirt and while I didn't shed one single tear the entire 99 miles, when I saw this, this stance of solidarity, it almost made me cry. I was so proud of my team, proud of everyone who finished before me and proud of everyone who would finish after me. We ran the Pier one last time, as a team. As I was nearing the finish line, I noticed Justin was videotaping, in a faint whisper I looked into the camera and said "I did it". But really, I should have said, "We did it", because we did.

I am forever thankful to Caleb, the DRT team and all the volunteers for making my dream a reality. Also, forever thankful to Nancy, Justin,and Larry for crewing, pacing me and driving me home. And, to Patrick who will forever be "my brother from another" and his wife Tiffany, for her support and the support of their crew. Finally, to my husband and daughter, who clearly understand my need to do what I need to do and who always support me no matter the circumstances and how crazy they may seem. I am also thankful for everything my diagnosis has taught me, live your dreams, always, live your dreams.

Although I tried to capture it, no words can be written to describe what happened on the course that day, it was magical. It was for Jim ~ #NEGU

Getting it done because we were Down To Run!

Me and the best crew ever, one last run down the Pier!

Me and Patrick, day 2, almost done. Running on the beach right before sunrise.

One of my favorite photos! My running angel and pacer, Nancy!

Justin! He was the calm in the chaos and seemed to know what I needed before I knew.

Day 1, feeling grateful and blessed beyond measure. Never ever give up, ever!

My blisters that had a life of their own!

The buckle never left my side for 36 hours after the race! Thank you Caleb and volunteers for putting on another spectacular race!

Me and Patrick, at the finish line!

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Live. Laugh. Love. Run. Embrace It.

2/22/2015

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Austin Marathon – February 15, 2015

What brought me to run for Livestrong was a need to help others, what now keeps me running is a need to help myself. When I say that out loud it sounds a bit narcissistic, but I promise you, it’s not. It’s a self-awareness, it’s making a pact with yourself that no matter what, you just keep moving and keep going. I have come to realize that one of my lessons to be learned is one of patience and acceptance.

I met many old and new friends in Austin. We met for dinner and drinks at Fado’s Irish Pub Friday night. New friendships were made, old friendships were solidified – many of us brought together because of cancer in some way shape or form. Since not all of us were able to meet Friday night, we are all excited to meet up with the rest of the group at the Livestrong headquarters the following day. We laugh, we eat and we are all merry and then call it a night.

LIVESTRONG, LAUGHSTRONG, LOVESTRONG – that’s something I recall seeing at the Livestrong Foundation headquarters on Saturday. I am so grateful and fortunate to have awesome friends who helped me raise over $7,330 for the Livestrong Foundation. It is all of them who I ran for that day, I carried their heartfelt wishes and their love with me and I am forever thankful to each and every one who donated.

When I walked into the Livestrong building, it was simply magical. There is a presence of great things happening, positive vibes and good energy. The motivational and aspirational quotes, seeing the names of those we lost, those we honor, and those who continue to fight is emotional, but it is also so inspiring. Livestrong Foundation does phenomenal things. I know, I used the navigation services and I know because several friends have used the navigation services. What the Livestrong Foundation does is beyond anything that anyone can comprehend. Yes, we all know that Lance Armstrong started this and he’s an arse now, but he started something wonderful and there are many families who are grateful for that.

Anyway, there is quite the brunch spread for us and we dig in. The captain of our team is Bart Yasso, yes, you know the one (Yasso 800’s anyone?), the Chief Running Officer of Runner’s World Magazine, runner extraordinaire. This guy is fantastic! He was so down to earth, so caring and so passionate about running, all types of running – trails, road, ultra’s, 5k, etc. We all had a wonderful time. My friend Sean spoke to the group about his journey and what Livestrong has done for him, my friend Iram spoke about his journey and what Livestrong has done for him. There were a few tears shed, but there was also so much love and respect for everyone. Many of us were brought together as strangers and we all left as lifelong friends. Next up is the Expo and then more food, drinks and laughs. More of my friends arrive and we all meet for a great Texas BBQ for dinner (I don’t recommend this as dinner the night before a marathon BTW).

When I found out I had NHL, I talked with my nephew, a 40+ year old married, father of two, addict, who started running in order to help himself. We “get” one another and I just knew he would run with me! I knew he hadn’t run a marathon, or any race for that matter, nor had he run more than 10-13 miles. This was a way that we could help each other. For months, we kept each other abreast of training plans, runs, nutrition, questions, etc. It was a fabulous journey to the starting line for him and I will never, ever forget his selfless act of training while working through his own issues. To be continued later in the blog :).

Well, it’s now race day and we, a good friend and my nephew and I, head to the starting line. We attempt to get a group picture in front of the Texas capitol building with all my other friends, but there are too many blocked roads that prevent this from happening. We end up seeing other friends we knew at the starting line and are so very pleased we had a chance to see each other before the race.

We are off and the race starts on Congress Street where it seems to be on a trajectory going upward with no downward slope in sight! It’s all good though because I was running with fellow Livestrong teammates and then I was so thankful to run for a mile or two with my friend Sean. Last year at this time, Sean didn’t even know if he would be alive today. Last year, his surgery was scheduled 10 days before the Austin Marathon, so he ran the Austin Marathon route in advance and refused to let cancer steal his joy. He had surgery and faced many months of chemo and radiation and while he may be cancer free today, he is still feeling lasting effects of chemo. Sean has been and will always be a source of inspiration for me, it is Sean who created Team Choose Joy and who has done so much for so many. It is Sean who led our team to raise over $35,000 for the Livestrong Foundation.

I ran with many Livestrong teammates that day and we created bond that will never be broken. When you have any type of cancer, and meet other lovers of life, survivors and fighters, there is a lifelong bond that is created. You can talk about things that those who haven’t gone through it simply won’t understand. I was fortunate enough to run with a fellow teammate from about miles 15 – 26.2. We had the best conversations, those that lifted us up and made us laugh and those that made us realize that we have formed a lifelong bond and we are so thankful.

Fast forward…we are finishing the race. I am running with two other Livestrong teammates. So picture three Livestrong teammates who have ran together for several miles, lifting each other up and bringing each other to the finish line. We crossed the finish line holding hands that are raised high in the sky. We are grateful, joyous, happy and thankful for everything and each other. As I move through the finishing chute I see my nephew and I cried. I cried for him and all that he has been through, I cried that he continued to be selfless and waited over almost an hour to wait for me, I cried for all those we have lost, all the fighters and warriors and for all those that we will lose. I truly learned that yes, I have cancer but it doesn’t have me. For all those I met this weekend who are survivors or fighters, we all agreed that having cancer was a catalyst for a better way to live, laugh, love and run.

There is so much more to say about this race, but I will leave it as is and will never forget the kindness, friendship and love ~ xoxo

Yours in running, health and joy,
Susie Q

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Skydive Ultra...the sky is not the limit...the ground is!

2/8/2015

1 Comment

Oh my goodness...jump and then run a 50k! Okay, I think I'll do that!

Race description:
Runners ready?? Start your watch and climb aboard the airplane for the ride up to 13,500 feet where you will leap out of a moving plane to begin your run. The 120 mph, 2 mile (approx 10k feet) free-fall will last 50 seconds before you pull the parachute on your tandem skydive and quietly and calmly float (3,000 feet) back down to the safety of earth. Upon landing you will immediately climb out of your parachute and begin running to complete the world's first ever "Skydiving Ultra"!

Although I tried not to even think about the jumping part of this race, as the day approached, my time to think about it was coming to and end and the doing it was getting real. Tick tock goes the clock, and before I know it, it's Friday and I'm driving to Clewiston, Florida. Even on the drive, I still didn't think much about the jump or run and that's just the way I like it. However, my family thought about it much more about it than I did...poor things, they worry about me far more than I worry about me :)

Arrived in Clewiston Friday afternoon, met a friend at the Skydive Ultra start and finish, checked into hotel and then went to the Tiki Hut to check in for the race. The start and finish is very, very close to the small airport where we will be skydiving - what a perfect place for a jump and run. It's flat and beautiful! I still haven't really given the skydiving part much thought and when I have thought about it, the thoughts provided me with the smallest amount of angst. One of my dear friends made shirts for us to wear. They were lime green (lymphoma color), had a tortoise with a parachute on the back and my mantra of "Choose Joy" on the sleeves. When she showed these to me Friday night, I was speechless and almost brought to my knees with adoration for the heart and sould she put into these shirts. I have the most amazing friends! AMAZING! So very thoughful and so very significant to me. My two other friends finally arrive and one is jumping and running and the other is crewing for us.

When we arrive to check in for the run, there was so much energy and electricity in the air. Many runners and it looked like the running group took up almost half of the restaurant. So much excitement, nerves, tension, and joy all rolled into one. We met several runners and sat down at a table and ordered dinner. We all introduced ourselves and quickly started talking about running and if we have shared any runs together (and we did by the way). The trail/ultra running community is just like extended family. There has never been an event that I have gone to where I felt like I wasn't sitting down with lifelong friends, it's very comforting knowing that no matter what happens on the trails, there will be someone there to lift you up (figuratively and literally). The bond that occurs during these races is unbreakable. Anyhooo...fast forward to Saturday morning, JUMP and RUN time.

When we arrived in the parking lot (we stayed in the Clewiston Inn and did not camp), the 100 milers were dropping from the sky. As Eric, the RD states, "the plane is pooping" and he is 100% correct. As the jumpers come out of the plan, it really looks like the plane is pooping jumpers. Ack...they are up pretty darn high and it finally sinks in that I will be doing that soon!

This race was so well organized and every detail was accounted for. The RD sent out several emails before the race and provided specific instruction for both the jump and the run, he answered every question and made it so easy. There was also an awesome DJ at the race, so fantastic and motivating to hear the music and any announcements during the day.

We heard the call for the 50k'ers to check in at the hangar and I quickly realize that this is getting real! We go to check in and with such great surprise, my friend who was only there for support and give us what we needed decided, at the very last minute, that she would jump with us only if we could all be on the same plane! This actually made me cry a little. I was so excited and it has really been an emotional past few months, so when she committed, it just blew me away. Tears of joy and screaming at the Manifest! Love her for doing this by the way! I now have four of my friends jumping and we are on the same plane! We are having such a good time and we meet our tandem instructors. I think the Skydive folks thought we were a bit crazy, but we laughed and joked and got serious when we needed to. We get fitted for our flight suits and step into our harnesses. Still laughing and having a great time. Our skydive instructors are fantastic and are laughing and joking with us. Such great energy. I truly believe that you attract people that have similar interests and energy. Only positive vibes coming from us and the excitement is building as our names get closer to the top of the board. Our instructors check in with us several times and provide great instruction. The one friend who signed up to jump at the last minute appears to have reservations, but she's marching on with it. We are escatic that we will all be together on our first jump!

To make a long story shorter...we are on the plane and continue to be excited about what's about to happen. We all can't wait and I start to get the itch to get this going so I can run...as we board, I realize that I'm last for my group, which only means that I go first! The tandem instructor (who was top notch and the best) conducts a final check and we scoot forward. Before I know it I am out the door and I'm FLYING!!!! Once my mind and my body synched, it was the most fabulous experience I have every had. The free fall, the turning, the opening of the chute, the sights, sounds, smells, all of it - was fantastic! I can't put into words what a wonderful and life changing experience it was. From the opening of the door on the plane to the landing in the drop zone, it was all fantastic. As soon as I landed, I knew that I wanted to go again, but I first had a 50k to run!

My other friends landed and once we all screamed and hugged, we immediately decided that if we could, we would do it again before we left Clewiston. Once we gathered our gear and purchased our next jump tickets, I couldn't wait to thank the RD for this life changing experience. Poor guy, probably thought I was some crazy lady wanting to hug him and thank him for all he did!

We ran to our cars, changed into our running shoes, put our timing chips on and off we went. The course is almost a lollipop, figure 8, a little more than 4 miles on each side where at the end of every 4 or so miles, you are back to the main aid station and parking lot. We used our cars as our personal aid station and had help from several awesome people. While this run is flat, there is also no cover, and for much of the time, we are running in sugar cane fields. I thought it was beautiful and I loved every stinking second of it! I was always looking in the irrigation ditches for gators, but didn't see any. I did run OVER, yes, OVER a water moccasin and did the screaming snake dance for about 3 minutes. Still makes me giggle - you had to be there. I love running and especially love running with people that share the same passion as I do. Can't describe it.

I also love running races where there are loops because it allows you to see everyone (yes, I love many things), the 100 milers to the 10k runners. It was fantastic watching and cheering everyone on. I make it my purpose to always cheer on fellow runners, no matter what. They don't have to respond or say anything back, I know they've heard it and that's all that counts. Just another reason why I love this community! Love, love, love the ultra runners and trail runners! This race was fantastic, everything was taken care of and, while I am not opposed to porta potties or the woods, this race had real restrooms! After the race, we were able to relax and cheer on the other runners. I was also able to do a little planning for my 100 miler in March. Again, I am so very thankful and grateful for all my friends and what they do for me. They are unbelievably supportive and I am continually humbled by their actions.

I am in awe of all the runners and so proud of each and every one who is able to not only have the courage to start, but also finish their desired distance! I met so many beautiful and wonderful people during this weekend! Oh and by the way, we ended up jumping three more times on Sunday! YES, you are reading that right, THREE MORE TIMES! LOVE IT and everyone needs to do this at least twice! Twice because the first time you aren't really aware of the beauty that surrounds you and the second time you are so much more aware of your surroundings and what a beautiful world we live in. My goal for the race next year is to jump solo! :)

The Sky is Not the Limit

The smell of fresh air
The sound of the wind
The sun reflecting off the wing
The sound of nervous laughter
The excitement is building
The whoosh of the door
The wind rushing in
The waddle to jump
The trust, the fear, the unknown
The moment you jump, the exhilaration
The freefall, the wind in your face
The beauty, the curvature of the earth
The clouds feel like dew drops
The sun in all its splendor
The mind and soul are at peace
The slight tug of the harness when the canopy opens
The feeling of weightlessness
The floating like a feather to the ground
The beauty of the world
~ Susie Q

Yours in running, health and joy,
Susie Q, xoxo

1 Comment

Reflections...Lessons...Simplicity.

1/25/2015

2 Comments

Last weekend I drove 800+ miles to run the Bear Bait 50k with awesome people. People I met on another trail run - the Georgia Jewel. I love my trial peeps by the way :) During my drive time, I was able to reflect on many things. Life, family, friends, my health and all the good things going on. My ramblings below.

I'm focused on celebrating each day, I am focused on relationships with only the most important people in my life, the people that share my love of the little things, my love of life, and my love of the trails.

I know that life can change in an instant, I know that sometimes it can suck and sometimes it and be hard. BUT...I also KNOW that how I deal with it determines the outcome. It's really quite simple.

I have no time or energy for people who are cynical, unhappy, jealous, those who pass judgement, gossip, or compare themselves to others. I have learned that I don't want to waste one second of my time with people who wouldn't help an injured soul, or those who don't make me smile, or those who are not happy, who don't love animals, or who wouldn't buy a newspaper from the guy on the corner or give a dollar or two to that person if they had an extra in their pocket.

I have learned that I have plenty of time for people who love life, accept everyone for who they are, who love to smile, to laugh, choose joy, and for people who are kind, love animals, are courageous, grateful and gracious. Plenty of time for those who love to watch a sunrise and a sun set on the sea, in the mountains, on the trail, or in a meadow. So much time for those who encourage, cheer, and motivate. So much time for those who are working to make themselves better and not bitter.

I have learned that somewhere along the way my little cancer diagnosis made me see things so much more clearly. I am thankful for that. Yes, thankful. The time I spend with my family is about quality, not quantity. There are many who simply don't understand why I spend hours on the trails and/or road without my family. The folks that don't understand "the why" also don't understand our family unit, they don't understand that our clan "gets each other"; we know what each other needs and we work toward making that happen. We all have our "thing" and we make it happen. It's that simple. I can promise you, that when you (and I hope you don't) have to tell your husband and child you have cancer, it freaking changes your life, changes everything, every thought, and every aspect of your family dynamic, it changes who you are. We are so much closer, tighter, and live so much more than we have ever lived. We love to see each other smile, laugh and enjoy life. It's funny and odd, but I have heard this from many people who were diagnosed with cancer or had a similar journey. Why did it take something like that to change our lives? Life is about the journey.

See? It's really that simple. Simple.

The picture below shows the beautiful reflections on Bear Lake also home of the Bear Bait Ultras.

Yours in running, health and joy,
Susie Q

2 Comments

Panthers in Florida? Yes, it's true, very, very true!

1/16/2015

6 Comments

Yes, I'm very late in writing about this race, so punish me and make me run it again next year! :)

In December I ran the Caloosahatchee 50k, I registered for this race without knowing anything about it. I just knew that I wanted/needed to run an ultra in early December. Just so happens, while volunteering at the John Holmes race in October, I met the RD of this race and instantly knew this was going to be awesome. The first two sentences on Ultrasignup.com states, "Some runners will tell you it's the toughest 50k in the Sunshine State! Who is up for the challenge?" So, that sounds a little scary, but so exciting at the same time. My husband and daughter decide to stay home and a friend of mine, who hasn't run an ultra yet, decides to come with me and make this her first ultra. I'm honored that she choose to run her first ultra with me.

In order to get a good parking spot, we arrive at the race site early on race day. I'm pretty stoked to run this race. It's pretty humid and I have no real idea what the course is like. We meet some awesome folks at the beginning of the race and we are off. The trail starts in what looks like a prairie dog field...field of beautiful long grass and many mounds to run up and down. I was given the advice to hike up and down the mounds and not try to run them. This section of the trail was fun and it reminded me of running through fields when I was a kid. As the race dragged on, it became known as the "safari' but is really called "Sunburn Meadow". No cover, beautiful long grass, few palms and beautiful mounds. We exit the safari section and enter the MBT. Someone told me they were black diamond MBTs and I had no idea what to expect. I only knew what black diamond ski trails looked like so in my mind, I think I knew what was expected. My friend and I started running with an awesome runner, who has obviously run these trails before. He was funny, enlightening and very, very helpful for the first few miles. We ran up, down, up, down, around, under, between, beside, etc. It was freaking awesome. I find that when I run looped trails (this one is a little more than a 10 mile loop), the first loop is one of discovery. I am always in awe of its beauty and can't wait to see what I find on the second loop. For me, there is nothing, I mean nothing, like running on the trails and pushing myself. As we move out and enter Wrots O' Ruts section, we kind of knew what to expect...awesome stuff. After that section we make it to the fantastic Aid Station. It's December, it's hot in Florida and we see signs that say "Let It Snow", etc., beautiful and ironic. We come to love seeing these signs because we knew that when we see them, the AS was close by.

Have I told you how beautiful this trail is? It's gorgeous! The AS volunteers are wonderful and send us on our way. We leave the AS and head to Technoville and the Far East sections of the trail. We meet some great peeps along the way and are amazed at how hard this trail is - it's not what we expected, but in the very best way. We don't know what to expect on this trail and don't wan't to exert too much because we know it's going to be a hot and humid day. I don't take my trail running too seriously, in fact, I no longer take much in life too seriously, I just want to have fun and meet the cut off. We are having a great time, laughing, joking, telling stories and just trying to make sure we navigate appropriately while staying vertical.

Someone told us about some of the things we would see along the way. As we were immediately coming down a hill that was around a slight curve, there stood...ready for this? A freaking panther with yellow eyes, just staring at us! Not kidding one bit. Funny how many things run through your mind in a split second. Once it registered that it was a ceramic panther, I had already thought I would be shredded to pieces. We stopped and laughed and laughed and laughed. Un-freaking-believably funny! I loved that this panther was so strategically placed. We decided that now that we know where the panther is, we would get our pictures with the panther on the second loop.

We run into an area that was full of gorgeous trees that we losing their leaves. There were so many beautiful orange, light brown, scarlet and yellow leaves covering the ground, it look like a carpet. The sun was rising and hitting the leaves in such a manner that they sparkled. I tried to capture a picture, but the photo didn't do it justice. Up and down and up and down we go, where we stop, nobody knows. As we progress through the trails, I quickly realize how I underestimated this event. I really had no idea how difficult it was going to be. We know there is an aid station coming soon and look forward to seeing the awesome AS volunteers. Soon we run upon a winter sign "Let It Snow" and we rejoice. It's only a few yards and we run into the AS. If you ask me what makes a race fun and what makes a runner coming back, it's the aid stations. A fully stocked, well manned, positive flow aid station, can and will, make the difference on a long run. You meet the most fabulous people during these runs and build a bond that's hard to describe.

I snack on boiled potatoes (my new favorite during ultras), chips, get to the port-a-potty and water at the AS. Off we go. We run along "Calcutta Ridge" for a short period and the beauty of this trail continues to amaze me and as we run along a bit of water, I am on the lookout for any gators - but don't see any, I think our running scared them away. Running along the ridge, towards the end, you can start to hear people and see a few cars through the trees. I'm thinking --- woo to my hoo --- we've almost completed one lap and we can restock water and get moving. The ridge ends and smack dab in the middle of the trail are these two or three (can't remember) MOUNDS that are about 8-10 feet tall. The trail is marked with orange flags so we know that it is expected we run up and down the monster mounds. We do and it makes me feel like a kid again - and it gets tougher and tougher to get up and down these mounds as the race progresses.

We continue this obstacle course two more times (this race is three loops). For races that are loops, and of course, depending on the distance and the number of loops, the first one is filled of excitement and wonder. The second loop is one where I like to take pictures and for this race, the third loop is the "let's get this done" loop.

Fast forward...we are in our running groove, love the trail and it's starting to get a warmer. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. We run through the first 1/2 of the next loop and we know the panther is coming...heck we ran into it last time...so we know where it is and we are fully expecting it. Except we're not...we run down the little hill and turn the corner --- bam! smack dab into the panther --- yep, same reaction as last time, screams, followed by hysterical laughing. I think they need to have a hidden camera on that section of the trail next year. I am sure the photos would be priceless. As soon as we get a good photo with the panther, we quickly state that on the next loop, we will surely NOT be surprised by this panther. Except, we're not. The third time was the funniest! We run down the hill and smack dab AGAIN, right into the panther. I started screaming and shaming the panther. Pointing my finger at it...and yelling at the dang thing. We only have a few miles left and I guarantee you that this laughter provided us with the momentum to just keep going. In fact, as I write this two months later, I am still laughing so much, I am sweating. Good times for sure.

This was a phenomenal race. The race directors have thought of everything you will need and even thought of things you think you won't need, but will. The trails were well marked and the aid stations were manned by runners, for runners. Fabulous people coming together for a single event is what makes ultra running so much fun. I often wonder if it is the people, the trails or both that keeps me coming back. wonderful and have planned everything perfectly. I LOVE THIS RACE and in fact, have already signed up for the next one in December 2015! Check it out for yourself. Again, if you are looking for a race that is run well and where the RDs have thought all your needs, this is the one. They even placed a case of water on the trails for us when the sun rose higher in the sky! I mean, who does that? RDs that are runners and get it...truly get it. Thanks to all the volunteers and all the time and effort put into this race ~ y'all are phenomenal and thank you for making this such a great experience!

P.S. The more I push my body, the more I love it. The more I push my mind, the more I love it. I believe, truly believe, that how I choose to live my life (running, family, friends) and how I perceive, believe, and think, will have a huge impact on my health. In fact, I am so convinced of that, that I plan to continue to run ultras so I can prove to myself that my theory is true.

P.P.S. Watch out for Florida Panthers...you never know when you may run into one!

Yours in running, health and joy,

Susie Q
xoxo

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Scans, 50K's, Bears, Sky Dives, oh my...

1/5/2015

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I was going to post about running, but this evening I have NHL on my mind. Tomorrow is my six month PET/CT scan check up. This will detect any growth in the small tumors that are present and will check for any metabolic activity on the cellular level. The metabolic activity shows up in reds, oranges, and yellow coloring, looks kind of like bad weather on a meteorological map. Let's just say I hope for clear weather. The waiting and wondering is the worse part. Here is what's ironic (check out Alanis Morisette), when I need to run the most, I can't. I NEED to run the anxiety out, run the stress out. Run the cancer out.

I'll run until they find a cure, not only for me, but for all those affected.

Seriously, I am so very thankful for what I have and my diagnosis. It has given me a new perspective, a different way to enjoy life and my loved ones. While I don't allow myself to falter often, every once in a while I do - it happens - I'm human.

On another note, since my October post, I have run the New York City Marathon, the Caloosahatchee Ultra (50K), the Jacksonville Bank Half Marathon and the Croom Zoom 50K. Over the past six months, I have lost my speed and gained excess weight, ugh...I know what I have to do in order to get it off, but I'm a stress eater and well...you know the story. I have no doubts that within the next six months, I'll be back to where I was a year ago. My running may be slower, but nothing will stop me. Next run that's up is the Bear Bait Ultra (50k) next weekend and at the end of January, the Sky Dive Ultra (http://skydiveultra.com). I'm jumping out of a perfectly fine plane and then running a 50k! What a perfect way to see the beauty of our gorgeous land, first from the sky and then from the run! (If you are interested, check it out, there may be seats left)!

Look, I'm not dying and my diagnosis could certainly be a heck of a lot worse, but I'm living my life and experiencing all I can. I only hope that it doesn't take a scare or a cancer diagnosis for you to do the same. Positivity, Perception, Perseverance. Listen to the song...

Yours in running, health and joy ~
Susie Q

P.S. Apologies for this blog being all over the place tonight, it's how my mind seems to be working. Hope you followed it ~ xoxo

6 Comments

The little "c"...

10/24/2014

7 Comments

This post is about the little "c". cancer. There, I've said it. It's funny you know? But not really funny. People are afraid to say the "c" word, I get it. I used to be one of those people. I was afraid to say cancer. See, I've said it again. It's okay. Don't be afraid to ask me about it, don't be afraid to approach me, it's okay.

Yes, my world has changed in the past few months, but what's more important is that as much as it has changed, it has remained the same. I'm still a Mom, Granny Sue to 5 wonderful, beautiful children, a wife of 25+ years, runner, cat lover, adventurer, trail runner - all those things I was before, but more. Now I can add believer, lover of life, one who counts each moment, treasures family and friends more, viewer of the bright side of things, more caring, more giving, person who doesn't sweat the stuff that doesn't matter ~ changing lives of each person you meet - that's what cancer does. Cancer not only takes away, but it also gives. Cancer gives you a lense in which you look at life differently. No matter the diagnosis, you do. I know my life will never be the same. I know that I view my relationships with my loved ones very differently now, I know that every day is precious, I know that life can take funny turns and being grateful and gracious are extremely important. I know that every new or odd feeling in my body will make me wonder if it has spread. I know that, and it's my new norm and I will deal with it and be better because of it.

I went to my primary care physician the other day and he said, "your a cancer patient now". Part of me wanted to say, are you kidding me? A friend also said to me, "you're sick now".That just can't be true. I know there is a connection between the mind and body, I fully believe you are what you feel and if that's the case, then I am fan-freakingtastic! Others often state, "well, you look good, how do you feel"? I really find it funny and if they knew me they would realize that even if I felt the worse I have ever felt, I'm going to say I feel great! Having cancer won't stop me. My goal is still to run 100 miler, that WILL happen, no doubts in my mind. My raceplan for the next six months consists of six (6) ultras and the final being a 100. My training plan will only make me stronger, not deplete me.

A little perspective. My little cancer is nothing compared to what others have or what others go through. It is just something that I will continue to adjust to and live with. There are races to run, ultras to train for and people to help choose joy along the way with. I can't lie, there is still a bit of anxieity, especially two weeks before another PET Scan and blood work (a few weeks from now). It's called "scanxeity" and while the only way for it to go away is to get rid of what's causing it, I know that won't happen. While I have worked hard the past five weeks, I can only hope that the next scan is an empty slate, nothing to see here, carry on. Zero red, orange, and yellow on that scan, zero is the goal.

The most important aspect of this is to fully understand what I am dealing with. There is no cure, it's chronic. While that can sound yucky, it's all about perspective and perception. So what. It doesn't get to rob me of my joy or me living my life. In fact, it helps me live my life more and be more joyous.

Get out there an live your life, make it happen, don't wait until it's too late. Join me in a few of my Ultras, learn to live your life with passion. Choose joy.

11/2/14 - NewYork City Marathon
12/6/14 - Caloosahatchee 50k
1/3/15 - Croom Zoom 50k
1/17/15 - Bear Bait Ultra 50k
1/31/15 - Skydive Ultra - 50k
2/15/15 - Austin Marathon
3/28/ 15 - Fort Clinch 100

Yours in running, health and joy,

Susie Q

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Georgia Jewel 35 Miler and My Journey

10/5/2014

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So, it's been a week since the Georgia Jewel (http://www.georgiajewel.com/Site/Welcome.html), a beautiful 35, 50 or 100 mile run in the North Georgia mountains. Your choice of distance! Since I live in flat Florida, I opted for the 35 miler. I chose that distance for many reasons and initially felt that I was "copping out" because I was "only" doing 35 miles. Others asked me why are you only doing the 35? and then some asked why would I even think about doing something like this? My journey to the Jewel was full of surprises, but nothing was going to stop me. I registered for the Jewel in March and was eager and couldn't wait to experience it! My main reason for doing this was to prove something to myself - I had to prove that nothing would stop me. While training for this run, I missed about 5 weeks of running due to a few medical procedures and my thoughts during that time were not on running.

Anyhow...back to more exciting things.

I arrived Thursday late afternoon and race is on Saturday (9/27). I drove up from Tampa and left my family behind. The drive took about 9 hours and I loved every second of it. I am so very fortunate that my family understands my need to do this and the reasons behind it. I checked into the host hotel and was eager and anxious to get started. I craved being the in the forest, couldn't wait to get on the trail, craved being away from phones, email, demands, appointments, etc. I had dinner with a longtime friend and her family Thursday evening. Organized my nutrition and race items for an early Saturday morning start (5:30am). Triple check my headlight and made sure I put 3 extra AAA batteries in my backpack, just in case.

Friday arrived and I volunteered to help arrange and double check the aid station bins and sign in the 35 milers. Couldn't wait. Karen (RD) and I went through each bin and made sure contents where there, sorted the Georgia Jewel hoodies into the appropriate sizes by race (35, 50, 100) and we were ready for the runners to arrive. The runners arrived and there was a change in the air. Excitement, angst, nervousness, but mostly excitement. So many tremendous athletes checking in, so many stories, so many wonderful crew members and fabulous support for the runners. I am in awe of all the athletes and what they will accomplish in the next few days. Even though I wasn't able to train as much as I would have like leading up to this race, I cannot wait to start and give it my all. I decided against driving around to see any of the aid stations available by car as I wanted to be "surprised" and ensure that nothing diminished my experience. I didn't want to know what to expect, I knew I just wanted to get out there. What an honor to check in so many wonderful runners! I met so many wonderul runners at the check in and couldn't wait to see them on the trails the next day. There was a race briefing about 5:00 and the room was buzzing with excitement and everyone was ready! Dinner, double check of gear and bed time is up next.

Alarm is set and I get up at 3:30am. Gels, water, electrolyte tabs, race vest is double checked and number is placed on my running shirt "Living a Dang Yes"! Coffee drank, lucky pancake is eaten, gear double and triple checked. PBJ sandwich put in my vest and I'm ready to go. Head to starting area about 1.3 miles away (you want to drive there and not walk, I promise you!).

100 milers start at 5am. I am honored to be able to watch them begin their journey, it's fascinating to me. 50 milers are bussed out for a point to point run and the 35 milers start at 5:30 for a out and back run. I have heard many things about the Rock Garden and that's one of the first sections we run on. I was told to be happy that we start in the dark so we can't see what we are running on! The race starts on an asphalt road that leads into the trails. The road feels like it is straight up and I decide to not push it and just be okay with a very slow run/hike up the "hill". I kept thinking wow, this is pretty dang steep, can the trails be any steeper? I figure it out pretty quickly. The Rock Garden wasn't so bad, it's dark outside and all the runners get into their comfortable pace, at that point in time, I don't understand the hullabaloo of the Rock Garden, but I tell myself that I'm sure I'll understand it on the way back! I find out later it was a blessing I couldn't see it at the start of the run. Make it to the first unmanned aid station at about mile 5. It's been up and down and my fellow runners are spectacular! I meet Theresa, Erica, Paul and so many others.

Theresa, Erica and I end up running very close to each other almost the entire race. At about mile 8, Theresa was about 50 feet in front of me and we were on the ridgeline so we are able to do a little running and less climbing/hiking. I see her "dancing" and brushing herself off. I rush to ask her if she fell, she quickly gets out "no, hornets" and zap, I've run right into the same place she was. She is getting stung and trying to brush them off and I'm getting stung trying to get them off. We run out of that space and take a quick inventory. How many stings? are you allergic? We both had about 7 - 10 stings each and neither one of us had been stung before so we had no idea how we would react. We both thought of the Hunger Games and luckily didn't hear the "cannon". We had "only" four miles to the first manned aid station (about mile 12). Theresa texted her husband as he would be at the next manned aid station (mile 17.5) and asked if he could get something for the stings. I had about 10 stings, several on my arm, and those little buggers flew up my running shorts so my arse was stinging too! Theresa had about the same number of stings and was just as uncomfortable as me. I stll apologize for any cuss words that Theresa heard on the trail! We ran into the 12 mile aid station and I took some Advil, ate an orange and was on my way for "only" 5.,5 miles to the next aid station. It's finally getting more light out and I am fully able to see the beauty of the trail. I am in heaven, it is beautiful beyond words. Surely a sacred place.

I am finally alone with my thoughts. This is the part of running I crave ~ the thinking, the sorting out, breathing the fresh air, the beauty of the trees, the leaves, the sights, sounds, smells. All of it, every stinking bit of it. The pain, the tears, the struggle. It's my therapy. I need to run. I need to be there, alone with my thoughts.

Erica and I find each other on the trail. We are ascending one of the "hills" and we are almost to the top. Erica tells me that when we get to the top, find a rock and place it on the pile. We get to that spot and I find my rock and place it on the pile. Erica moves ahead and I tell her I wanted to take a picture. I place the rock and have moment to say a prayer for those represented by my rocks. There are several 35 milers on their way back to the finish. This is exciting because it only means we aren't that far away from halfway mark! I catch up to Erica and we begin descending the switchbacks on the way to the half way mark. Erica was an awesome running partner. She had trained on the Pinhoti and was able to give me many tips and hints on our journey. I'm thinking this is great, then Erica reminds me (while I'm in my blissful thoughts) that we have to run back up these! As we get closer to the turn around and the awesome aid station I start to think about a PBJ and an orange and down I go. I fall about 100 yard from the aid station. The aid station volunteers were fabulous. Erica gave me two tangerines, I had a PBJ and the aid station worker poured hydrogen peroxide on my leg and hand. Theresa's husband gave me "After Bite" for my hornet stings and off I went. It was grueling...I didn't want to go back UP those switchbacks, but that was the only way to the finish. After the many hornet stings and my bloody knee and hand, I felt drained. This section was a real mental struggle for me. It was one foot in front of the other, one step forward - dang would I ever get up this? I starting measuring the ups,downs, and the streams to the next aid station and quickly got out of my funk. I also thought about how lucky and fortunate I am. Yes, I am fortunate. Can't run this far without thinking about the last several months and where it has brought me. Would I change anything? No, I wouldn't. I'm a different runner now.

I catch up with many at the next aid station, Theresa and Erica are there and we almost all set out again at the same time/pace. We trade the lead off and on for several miles and Erica prepares me for what's ahead toward the end. Puke Hill, The Wall and The Rock Garden. I'll never forget what she said, "Just when you think it ends, it doesn't, it just keeps going". Words with such wisdom attached! This really helped my mentally get over and through those obstacles. Theresa and Erica move up ahead as I have conversations with myself while climbing "The Wall". For me, that was the absolute craziest and most difficult part of the run. It just didn't stop! Whew...when it did, I WAS SO HAPPY TO SEE THE ROCK GARDEN!! I knew that once I got through the rock garden it was essentially downhill from there. Throughout the entire race, I couldn't help but think about the 50 and 100 milers. I was in awe that they could/would attempt a course like this. They are amazing athletes and I have so much respect for them! The race directors, Karen, Jeremy and Don did a great job of making the experience worthwhile! Thank you so very much for the awesome aid stations and the well marked trails!

There were several miles where I ran for myself. I had to prove to myself that despite my diagnosis, I could still run. I could still complete an ultra. I could finish. I can and I did!

I believe that eating right, running and having a positive attitude can heal many things ~ mind, body and soul.

The Georgia Jewel was a journey of many steps for me. One that gave me the confidence to know that having cancer, any type of cancer, doesn't mean life ends, it means life begins. It's a journey to something greater, something more profound than I've ever experienced before. I am grateful for my journey and thank you all for sharing it with me.

Continue to keep the faith, train, run, eat clean and live a YES life.

Susie Q ~ xoxo

1 Comment

Training

8/17/2014

1 Comment

My next ultra is about 5 weeks away in North Georgia. This means there are very big hills, mountains to overcome. To say I'm a bit nervous and scared is an understatement. I have been so tired lately so I haven't been training as much as I'd like.

Had a great 15 mile trail run yesterday, felt good, but so slow. Did two face plants, one because we started in the dark and I didn't see the stump waiting for me to fall over. The other was simply because I wasn't paying attention and tripped over a root lip.

My runs are therapeutic and soul cleansing, I wasn't mentally ready to stop, but I was done - I was frustrated I planted face down and pissed off that my training isn't where I want it to be.

I won't stop. Keep going until I can't any longer.

Yours in running, health and joy,
Susie Q
xoxo

1 Comment

August 14, 2014

8/14/2014

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My diagnosis date was 6/24/14 - the day I had an excisional biopsy of a lymph node in my groin. A day like any other day. My husband and 13 year old daughter came with me to St. Joe's while I was put in the good hands of the surgeon. I've run two ultras this year, several trails runs, a marathon and a few half-marathons and am training for a few ultras in the upcoming 6 - 9 months. So I do run a lot. My surgeon told me that the enlarged lymph nodes were most likely from my running, in fact, in my pre-op appointment he didn't necessarily agree that I needed to have an excisional biopsy.

Fast forward two weeks - July 8, I had to go back to the surgeon so he could make sure the site was healing well and get any test results. The only anxiety I had was if he asked me if I had been running - of course I have (and I should not have). I was brought back into the exam room and heard him coming down the hall. He walks in, doesn't look me in the eye and states, "doesn't look good". I'm thinking what the f*ck did he just say? I may even had said that. He said the biopsy results came back positive for Lymphoma. I asked him for details, details, details and he couldn't really give me any more than that. There is an aggressive and non-aggressive form but he thinks more tests will need to be done to determine. He also stated that it was not a diagnosis he would want his wife to have - no joke. I felt like I couldn't breathe and certainly couldn't wait to get the hell out of that office. Checked out and practically ran to my car to call my husband.

Call to hubster went something like this, "hi babe, I'm done at the doctors. Am I on speaker phone? okay, good. Are you sitting down? I have B-Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma" Dead Silence....I may have even heard crickets....I've never really been one to mince words and prefer to just get it out there. My poor baby, I'm sure I just rocked his world in a way we never meant to. Once it soaked in, he was upbeat, positive, and supportive beyond measure. Our family's mantra from day one - you've got this, we'll beat this! You ran 50 miles without complaining once...you can do this! Yes, no doubts ever!

I will beat this, it's just another run I am training for - except it's a run for my life.

After my husband and I talked for a while, I needed to figure out how to tell our daughter. He stated he would tell her, but I was adamant, it's got to come from me and I get to choose who I tell and who I don't tell. My next appointment was with the oncologist one week later (July 8) so I decided to wait to tell her after that appointment. .

Carry on...it's just cancer, seriously!

~ Susie Q, xoxo

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