Few musings from my run this weekend. Sorry for the length and stream of consciousness and more to say, but for now, this will do.
Running is my opportunity to analyze everything that’s been on my mind or worried me for days, weeks, months, and depending on the length of the run, years 😂.
It’s my time to mediate and I absolutely love the constant sound of my feet hitting the ground. There’s something so comforting and special in that simple sound. It’s constant, expected and craved. It’s where I know I can go to in my mind - where I’ve memorized the sights, sounds and smells of certain trails or areas I’ve run. They’ve imprinted themselves on me and have become part of me.
This weekend, I was fortunate enough to finish a 100 mile race at Hennepin State Park in Illinois. It was my first 100 mile race where I traveled outside of Florida, the first one I would run without a pacer, and one where I chose to not “attach” myself with any others running out there. I would talk to other runners, but after a few miles of small talk, I wanted my own space again. This alone time is so freeing to me.
Free. Free from the restraints we put on ourselves, judgments, free from a schedule, meetings, mind pollution, appointments, driving, outside distractions, conversations you don’t want to have or conversations you want to have, free from expectations, free from your mind going in a million different directions at once. Free.
Not free from the beautiful trees standing tall and proud, silence, the leaves ready to fall and rebirth after a long winter, or the sound of the river running to join forces elsewhere, the sun enjoying a night of rest so it can shine the next day, the smell of rain and the feeling of the rain on your face while running. The smells of the forest, decaying leaves, the sounds of coyotes in the distance, cows, the beautiful pure darkness except for a headlamp way off in the distance, the amazing flying spiders, the beautifully arranged corn fields, the orange crescent moon after the rain and its reflection in the canal, and the bright beautiful stars - oh the beautiful, beautiful stars. The same stars - at mile 80 - where I looked up to, talked to, and cried to, yes, those stars. Universe - thank you for listening and answering me ~ 🙏
So much meaning, so much beauty for all of us to see and experience. When you push yourself beyond your fears, there really is a beautiful place to explore and see, feel and experience. Take nothing for granted.
So grateful for my family - our beautiful daughter who helps remind me to always be strong; my amazing husband and rock of 30 years - he knows me best of all. Super grateful for my friends who check in on me and tolerate me; my coach, Lisa Smith Batchen, who knows, you know?, my neighbors who are all so supportive and have become a little family in the "sac"; my lymphoma that helped shape my vision; my skydiving accident that made me want to prove that I would run again; grateful to the trauma surgeon for telling me I wouldn't run long again. My beautiful Ultra Chick family - thank you ❤️🏃🏼♀️🐥❤️. Everyone everywhere along this beautiful road who has helped shape who I am, where I’ve been and where I’m going. Forever grateful.
Never take anything for granted. Every step in your journey is progress to wherever it is you want or where you need to be. There are life lessons everywhere and we are never too old for a good lesson. It’s a beautiful place to be. Don’t hold back or hold back. Don’t be afraid or be afraid. Show up or not. Believe or don’t. Find your own way or chose not to. Easy or difficult. Whatever it is - own it. Stay humble.
What’s difficult today may become easier tomorrow or what’s easier today may become difficult tomorrow. Your choice.
I received my best advice at mile 94 - breathe. Thank you for that my beautiful friend, thank you ❤️.
Oh, and thank you NH for your One-Star crewing! Ha ha! Great work and appreciate it very much. No cops next time, k?
Grateful for everything and every moment of every single day. Just Breathe.
~ namaste 🙏